“This War” Song Story


An invisible war has ravaged our hearts, leaving in its wake a people unsure of who we really are. We are wounded, in desperate need of restoration. Yet, we still walk with a yearning in our core for the life we were meant to live. It is in these places God finds us, whispers our name, and stirs a hope so deep it becomes impossible to ignore.

This is the very place where God has found me.

This song opens the “This War” EP for a very specific reason. It describes the beginning of my wrestling, my moment where a hidden reality was suddenly exposed. Beauty has a way of opening our eyes, causing us to pause, especially if that beauty is experienced through another person. I penned these lyrics after multiple encounters with a girl I could see from a distance but was too timid to approach. Suddenly there was a longing for beauty, but I felt worthless to pursue it.

“I thought you’d know me from the average
But the test of this faith has failed with my silence”

Something in me actually hoped that in my silence I might still be noticed amongst the crowd. But as the story goes, my inability to believe I had something to offer left me fading further into the many faces seeking her attention.

“Watch me walking away from what I think I would paint
Believing somehow these colors might fade
If she knew that I can’t take my eyes off of her”

So I walk away. My heart ends before the Great Artist can even put paintbrush to canvas. I am left feeling the exposure of my desire…she would surely laugh and the musings of a little boy…wouldn’t she?

“This is a war that I’m not sure I can win
My confidence fades before my heart can begin
But she’s beautiful
And now all of these forgotten dreams are so much closer to me
But all I can see is that she is beautiful”

In my private war against my self-confidence, God finds me. I am faced with beauty and have found that who I truly am has been stolen…and I want it back. Dreams of the life I was meant to live have been resurrected. There is so much more, so much to uncover and reclaim.

But all I could see was beauty that felt further than I was able to reach.

That girl went on to live her life, completely unaware that she had my attention. I have gone on to live my own life, find love in much more beautiful paintings, but this song serves as a reminder to my awaking.

God has opened my eyes and a great work is in progress to rescue me from the dark one who would leave me unaware of who I truly am and the beauty I am meant to claim. It’s also the story of your life, of our lives together as Jesus’ bride.

What might God be using to awaken you to who you were meant to be?
Will you answer that ache in your heart…or will you let the unseen war continue to ravage your true identity?

This war rages on, but love is fighting back.

The story continues with “You’re Safe Here”

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